Do I hear you?

From " MY Utmost for His Highest"

Feb 13
“If I have not developed and nurtured this devotion of hearing, I can only hear God’s voice at certain times. At other times I become deaf to Him because my attention is to other things— things which I think I must do.”

Feb 14-
“After every time of darkness, we should experience a mixture of delight and humiliation. If there is only delight, I question whether we have really heard God at all.”

Sometimes I get freaked out when I don't hear from the Lord. Why? It doesn't mean that he's not there. I say, "Lord whatever you want", and then my tendency is to plan and do things I feel I must be doing when it's the furthest away of his plans. I know he has given me dreams and visions for my life. It's the process of getting there that seems the hardest. Patients, teach me more patients. Lord show me balance of a hope for the dreams and vision, faith in knowing what's ahead, while living in the today and now. I have been wired to strongly feel connected, intimate, and passionate with relationships. So when I don't feel his presence, I tend to feel like I am in the dark. As the devotion on the 14th ask, am I delighting and embracing the darkness in humility? That's my desire. To be refined and defined by him. Lord I hear you, and when I feel like I don't, I pray you bring me in your stillness. May I desire to seek and find you. Would my heart woo itself to you, as your heart desires intimacy with me? "We should seek intimacy with the lord. However that's not our foundation. Our foundation is the covenant. The solid rock. He is the foundation. Because there are times we won't feel his presence." (From Songs of Solomon teaching- Raymayhew.com)