Not for sale

Salty taste of tears running dry
Emptied by the thoughts of ones lost
Desiring to know a better way
You alone long for those who have strayed

Why doesn’t she get up today
Drugged by the condemnation she’s failed
It all seems overwhelming
You alone calm the raging sea

There are so many that depend on her
Nothing left to prove abandoned to the core
Orphaned spirits, hungry for intimacy
You alone redeem their dignity

One touch of your garment would heal them
A spoken voice, unveiling mysteries
How could they not be changed
You alone purchased the cost

The offering

What would I offer you?
In my youth I gave my burdens
Wallowing my prideful sorrows
Victimized by my own circumstance
Deceived by the dark cloud of selfishness
Aware of your presence
Unaware of your forgiveness
Collision of darkness and light
Broken so I could be made strong
Elevated by your refining love
You only ask for what you always wanted
Just me...all of me
But I have nothing to offer
All I’ve known is this heart
Flat lined by the disease
Yet you place your spirit in me
Gifting a new heart
Rejuvenated beauty
Condemned not by this world
Destined to be with you
Asking for your proximity
You welcome more
Drawing closer
To be called yours
Your son, your daughter
Once orphaned, no height or death could invade
My best is nothing compared to your measure
My offering is my heart
Teach me, change me, define me, and captivate me

Passion

Perpetuated beauty
Driven by a call
Called by your love
Deep crying to deep
Unveil what has scaled my heart
Faith existing because of your faithfulness
My passion is you
Love motivates you
Seeing beyond the circumstance
Singing over where I stand
Promenade your presence
Created particles in the grand frequency
You are God, majestic over all creation

I don’t want to

I don’t want to think about it
I don’t want to process this anymore
I don’t want to be consumed by wearing thoughts
Possibilities of maybes and what could be

I don’t want to face the fact I may care
I don’t want to face there may be fears
I don’t want to rewind the records misunderstood
Scratching the surface of disillusionment

I don’t want to see things always black and white
I don’t want to have lacking faith dependent on my sight
I don’t want to think about this
Not even a little bit

Nevertheless…..

I don’t want to miss it
I don’t want not to grow more in you
I don’t want to be self dependant
Wanting only you

I don’t want to seem hopeless
I don’t want to be without vision and passion
I don’t want to be imprisoned by thought
Captivate me evermore

Casting Stones

The day seem to pass
With aged memories of once was
Living for the hope of tomorrow
Maintaining the faith of the day

If things where to change today would I know you
Would there be steps of unknowing
Steps lamped by destiny, a future of hope

Why does curiosity make us look back
Pillared, unable to move?
I long to move forward with you
I am guilty of the charges
But I now reside in forgiveness and grace

I can’t ask you to take my burdens
They are not yours to carry
How would you receive me?

Would it be the forefront of what is seen?
Would it include the unseen scars and emotions?
What do you see when you look at me
How much are you willing to know?
How much are you willing to let go?

Moving forward not accepting but not regretting
It can not be changed, distant memories
Only one thing has changed me
Its in the everlasting judgment of I’m forgiven

I carry the cross for it daily, sometimes burdensome
The fact It’s been lightened by the one who’s carried the ultimate price
Do you believe, not that I plead, for in my heart I want to believe
It’s been done, finished, settled no turning back

My Heart Deceives Me

My Heart deceives me

Is it my heart in line with your peace

Or unrest in my emotions

Burdened by a captive fear

Is faith in not knowing, full dependency

Are visions skewed with a perception of hopelessness

I want to be complete and free

Trusting you as we walk in the coolness of the day

If perfect love cast out all fears

I plead release for all

So that you may dwell here

Perfected only by your love

Infected only by your spirit

Where would I go

Where would I go
your people are my people

your dreams are my dreams
not mine to hold

it's you I seek, looking to unfold
I delight in your desires

where would I go
I have nothing but my beautiful

I let go so you would know
If I love you would I not pursue you

teach me to love your family
orphaned, no place to go

Even if all that was left was to glean
the residue would be heart changing

Where would I go

Eyes of a lover

What do you see as the eyes of a lover
what do you long for, just you and I
would they question your motivates
what's in a man's heart
Could there really be everlasting closeness

more than my emotions I trust it's just Faith
knowing you are who you are
would my weakness be my strength
wanting to hold you
drawing near through the end
if my circumstances unfolded
would my accuser disclose it

Your mercy and grace has defined me
A binding notch unable to discord
holding onto the strength of my defeat
you forever will be grounded, fastened to the root
you only are worthy as my enemies trampled under foot

How Could I not be moved

How could I not be moved
How can I not be changed

I want it to be more then fictitious, emotional, self consumed experience
I want the pressing of your heart, the flooding of your spirit

How could I not be moved
How can I not be changed

Hold me close: anchorage, leverage, purchased, foothold, embrace, hug
My majesty: magnificent, dignity, greatness, splendor, lord

How could I not be moved
How can I not be changed

Which side of eternity…

Today I received some disturbing news about a co-worker. This year marks 7 years at my recent job, 5 years since I gave Lordship to Jesus.

There has been some tough processing relationships with old friends, where I am heading, and most importantly obedience in staying here.

With that to say, recently a co-worker who was in the same training class as me passed away. Besides immediate family, he leaves a wife and 1 year old son.

I have emotionally battled with how this plays out to not only his family, but the people I work with. If judgment fell today, where would we go?

I look to our father. I write this song as I am burdened by the thought he could spend eternity without knowing Jesus. But my hope is that he submitted his heart and Life prior to passing away.

“I need your freshness to cover over me
I long for your goodness to set me free
How do I become uninhibited by my selfishness
How do I become to realize it’s because of you

It’s unattainable, not duplicated, finished at the cross
Ineffectual, futile to the mind
That your love is free…holding on to me

I rest my heart close to where you stand
Believing that you would adopt me in your hands
If judgment fell today, where would you and I be
Contemplating which side of eternity”

Nostalgia I rebuke you…

The yearning of past affection
The lie that things were better when
The old song that strike a chord of misplaced memories
Lost loves are not a lost at all
The things that fade away, replaced with love everlasting
The comfort of my four walls
Pride, control, idolatry and murdering emotions
Nostalgia I rebuke you
Your arrows flight shielded by my faith
It is not better there. My place is here
Under the wings of my King
Shadowed by his grace and Love
Slave once to my desires I have given
Now a son, friend, orphaned where I live in

Dear Father

Dear Father,
I write in concerns of how you are doing. I have sensed that your heart has been broken. I know that work, family and friends have had me busy. My intentions
Is to connect with you. Forgive me for the times I seem so far away, displaced or unconcerned. I love you and desire nothing more then to know and trust you.

What is on your heart today? Why do you hurt so? How you must ache to see my brothers and sisters who have strayed, longing for them to come home. I long for that too. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by it. I am glad our hope can be in you. You know best, your plans are perfect. How it must hurt you to know some will just not change. But yet you still write and contact them. Have any replied lately? I here of some that have come home for a little bit then stray again. It’s too much for my mind to understand. Yet your love does not change for them. When I slip and ask for forgiveness with a heart of repentance, you take me back. You love me the same all the time.

Know that you are a great father. More then I could imagine, want or know. You are worthy to be praised and adored. You are beautiful and lovely. The house you have built so radiant, filled with your glory. It’s like a temple within me where your thoughts and spirit seem to live. I remember the time you told me, “Home is not a location, it’s within ones heart.” How that speaks to me as your heart seemingly beats through mine.

I have not lost faith in the things you have promised and above all the promises of who you are. My heart knows you will always be my Father. I will always be your son. Even in the most trying times, I know this in the very pit of my soul. The things you have taught me even as a boy is bearing fruit. I feel like the oak tree with deep roots, gaining strengths and foundation as I abide in your words. So that I may grow securely, please continue to shower me with your wisdom, your strength, mercy and most of all love. Continue to teach me how to love. How will people know I am of the same family if I don’t love like you do?

Please continue to guide and protect my brother and sisters. Some I know you have sent to other places, lands and journey. I pray we would honor you and not shame the family name. Father, I love you. I would be nothing without you. Know I long to see you soon. However, I feel at peace about where you are sending my brothers, sisters and I in these days. I miss you, though I know there is always a part of you within me. May the glory be received for you and your kingdom alone.

Your son,